Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Helicopter Moms

So I was watching the Dr. Phil show yesterday and there were two moms featured that were considered Helicopter Moms. Helicopter Moms invade their children's lives; spying on them, having them followed, pulling them out of school to be home schooled, and a whole myriad of bizarre behaviours.

Parenting is a mystery at the best of times and should be considered the 8th Wonder of the World! My question is how do a grown bunch of women who are apparently educated, smother their children and consider this to be positive parenting? Now they're experiencing problems with their children and are surprised? Huh????!! Remember when you were a kid and the freedom you felt going to the mall for the first time without parents or going out at night with a curfew. It gave you a sense of independence; something you need in order to succeed in Adulthood!!

So I am rather laissez-faire in my approach to my own life and those of my children. Of course, when they were smaller I proudly held the designation as CF (Control Freak) but as my freakdom has dissipated with age and maturity (mine that is!!), my need to control is no longer present! My kids are much better off since I backed off and oh heaven forbid, allowed them to make mistakes!

I have a theory of why helicopter moms exist. Moms today are extremely well-educated and many of them had careers B.C. (before children). The transition from Career Woman to Mom is difficult enough and when you had "people" to support you, had a social life both inside and outside of work, had colleagues to discuss problems/solutions, to move to isolation once the baby is born is one of Life's Changes that on the stress scale should be number one! One of the best things I did was focus on myself and my development (going back to school and holding down a part-time job for starters).

As a Laissez-Faire Mom I am happy to report that my kids are happy, fairly self-sufficient, know how to make a basic meal, do the laundry, wash dishes and some other meanial tasks that they will leave home and take their laundry with them!! Isn't that what having kids is all about? Teaching them the basics of survival so they don't come back and live with us in their 30's (EEEEEKKK!!) - well, that's a no-brainer.