Sunday, June 26, 2011

48 Years - Ode To My Life

Remembering My Life

Age 1 - Being held in my Mother's arms - Kennedy's death November 1963
Age 2 - My pink bedroom - crib with a toy box underneath
Age 3 - Chatting with my 2 Soldier Friends - "Bumper Jack" (John) and "Gingerale" (Will)
Age 4 - Playing airplanes with my super cute IRL Friend - John and moving to Burlington
Age 5 - Meeting my BFF Jessica and KINDERGARTEN!
Age 6 - Grade 1 and reading so much and so well attended a special program for gifted readers
Age 7 - My first kiss - not MY idea - Joey Durst kissed me at indoor recess - mortified!
Age 8 - Teacher yelled at our class - I believed it was ALL my fault
Age 9 - Separated from my BFF for the first time - HATED it!
Age 10 - Met my FAVE teacher Ms. Schwenger - split class - independent learning - YES!
Age 11 - Same FAVE teacher - went to her house for the day with 3 of my BFF's
Age 12 - Stepped onto a stage for the first time - I WAS HOME!! Played Huckleberry Finn
Age 13 - Blechhh - new school, felt ugly, small
Age 14 - Blechh - same school, felt ugly, small and pimply, but THEATRE saved me!
Age 15 - Grade 9 - felt, shy and insignificant
Age 16 - Decided to open my mouth and speak through the blushing - haven't stopped since
Age 17 - Met my now husband at a party - he drove me home in his brand new, black 1980 Camaro - he was CUTE!!!
Age 18 - Final year of high school - I wanted to become a pre-school teacher - told I HAD to go to University
Age 19 - LEGAL to partay!! Off to Brock for my Child Studies Degree. Got engaged to BF Dave - eek my poor parents!
Age 20 - LOVED socializing at Brock - the education part - not so much :)
Age 21 - Final year at school - had to makeup up a lost credit - Teacher's College here I come!
Age 22 - No Teacher's College - depressed and anxious - all I wanted was to work with Children - grades not good enough = me not good enough to work with kids
Age 23 - Split with first major Boyfriend (now hubby) :(
Age 24 - New punk rocker boyfriend - went out to clubs - he was ALWAYS late! grrr
Age 25 - Worked in a "million" different jobs - didn't stay long
Age 26 - Split with punker boyfriend - bored with him
Age 27 - Worked for parents moving company - made oodles of cash - REALLY good at it! New boyfriend - BFF's cousin-in-law
Age 28 - Revving my engines in the driveway - what the hell is life really about?!?!?!
Age 29 - Ta Da!! In walked my BF from age 17 - "needed" to talk to me! Ended creepy relationship with boyfriend - verbally abusive to me - lost ALL my confidence!
Age 30 - Married my BF Davey - had the SAME engagement ring from when I was 19!
Age 31 - Discovered Adult Education as a field never pursued - LOVED IT!!
Age 32 - Baby Girl was born - ROCKED my world in so many ways - we were both super sick - not sure I was ever going to have any more children.
Age 33 - Went back to work as an Adult Educator working on contract for Aboriginal JobsOntario - learned about Mind, Body, Spirit and the connectivity between. Started working for Sheridan College as a part-time Continuing Education Instructor
Age 34 - Started my own Business Crossley-Byers & Associates - Coaching clients on their job search
Age 35 - Watched an episode of Arthur with my Baby Girl and knew I had to have another......
Age 36 - Had Baby Boy - he was fast and furious - we moved lock, stock and barrel back to Burlington from Milton when he was 3 weeks old - felt SO isolated there
Age 37 - Hubby struggled to find work doing something he loved so I went back to work when Baby Boy was under a year
Age 38 - SO sick with Hypothyroidism - Doctor lectured me on taking care of me!
Age 39 - Lost, frustrated, alone as hubby back to working in film and television - all alone with two kids as a single parent. Went back to school to get my Adult Teaching Certificate through Sheridan
Age 40 - Decided to hell with it and took 6 months to re-create my body - got back down to a size 6 through eating properly, working out with weights and running - felt AMAZING!!
Age 41 - Fell off the health wagon as I tried to balance working and completing my Adult Education Certificate
Age 42 - Started Opti-Mom while battling severe Mastitis (and not because I was breastfeeding) - had to have surgery and home care for 8 weeks post surgery. Bed ridden for most of the year due to pain - fell completely off track with my health
Age 43 - Started a walking program with my buddy Starr who originally started with me (we are still walking every day to date!)
Age 44 - Life beginning to ramp up with Speaking via Opti-Mom - so FEW supports for Moms - welcomed everywhere.
Age 45 - My Mentor, Friend and Coach, Sandi passed away suddenly due to Cancer - she instructed me to continue supporting Women Mind, Body and Spirit in honour of her not being aware of her own health and to live each day as if it were your last
Age 46 - Life crashed around me as I tried to figure out my Path - not sure what everything meant any longer
Age 47 - Quit my long-time job at Sheridan College - it no longer fuelled my teaching. Had a reading that corroborated my "ghostly" soldier visits affirming who they were and what they said to me, confirmed that which was inside of me - the NEED to work with children which was such an integral part of my core self
Age 48 - Realized that I had allowed external forces to dictate how my Life should go - let go of that to begin working with children (especially those that are deemed different - see things, feel things, shy, anxious, feeling disconnected).

So there you go..... 48 years in a nutshell!
xxxooo
Laurel

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Grown Up

Easter weekend. I am reminded once again that I no longer have "babies".
I remember them squealing with delight searching for eggs filled with "treasure" and our delight at watching them.
Now the only squeals we hear are when they achieve a new level in their video games or accomplish a new skateboard trick.
It is such a bittersweet journey that of parenting - we want them to grow, flourish and leave the nest confident young people.
But there is still that yearning for those sleepless nights, squeals of delight and daily requirement of hugs.
They are all grown up.

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Everyone Needs An Angel

There are times in our lives
When we feel incomplete
Or we don't understand
And we long and we ache
When life is too much
Full of sadness and pain
And it's just at this moment
When an Angel appears
Everyone Needs An Angel

Saturday, March 26, 2011

First Love

It's a love so simple.
Honest, truthful, and clear.
Passionate yet painful.
Heartbreaking and angst filled.
And yet, the love that defines all others.

Monday, March 21, 2011

In the Stillness

In the stillness we hear so much
In the stillness we think much more
In the stillness our presence is reality
In the stillness our reflection bears truth
For in the stillness we are who we are - just you and I

Monday, March 14, 2011

Disconnected

It came on so suddenly (or so she thought)
Slowly, day by day it became very clear
the disconnection from self
from soul
from body
from spirit
to the empty vessel, with empty eyes, alone and unknown.

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Life Without Labels

Would a life without labels lead to a life without limits?
You'd buy clothes that fit YOU not based on size
You'd make purchases based on YOUR needs
People would be themselves and not squeezed into someone else's mould
Art would be about the Artist
Music would be about the Musician
Food would be about the Chef
Home would be about what's right for those that live there
Education would be about fuelling OUR passions
Healing would come from within
And we would be free to be who WE are, living life the way WE want
Life without labels = Life without Limits